Epic

Vulnerability

"This isn't so bad...what was all the fuss about?" These were my thoughts as the bus rumbled along the paved route out of LaPaz, Bolivia at around 8:00 am. For five years I had been hearing horror stories about the road from LaPaz to Sapecho. But as I sat for about an hour staring out the window at the beauty of the Andes mountains I was becoming more and more convinced that somebody had fallen victim to an overactive imagination. But then the pavement ended.

The ride suddenly got much bumpier and I looked up from my book to see a spectacular view. Right outside my window I saw a majestic view of the jungle-covered Andes and several miles across a chasm I saw a mountain with a thin white stripe running around it. My eye was also caught by the movement of a speck along that line. It was a bus, and the thin white line was the road ahead on which we would spend the next 12 hours or so traveling.

The bus stopped for a moment for us to disembark, take some pictures, and pray a quick "salvation check" prayer before resuming the journey.

"Okay...no big deal. I can do this," were my thoughts as the engine fired up again. I'll just enjoy the scenery. I had utmost confidence in this driver...a stranger whom I knew absolutely nothing about. One of our guides began preparing sandwiches and handing them out and to my horror, she handed one to the driver. Now, I can't count the number of times I've driven through the Burger King drive through, grabbed a burger, and eaten it while driving down the perfectly smooth 3 lane interstate. But I gotta tell you, I began to feel a bit agitated (okay, a lot agitated) when someone who shared my feelings looked into the cab to see him eating with one hand and navigating this road with the other!



Now I'm a pretty good driver. I can eat, drink a coke, change CD's, and even read while I'm behind the wheel. But a line from one of my favorite movies comes to mind as I reflect on how I felt at that moment. After putting on the black suit "K" says to "J", "I need to tell you something about your skills: As of right now they mean precisely [jack]!

For hour after hour the 15 or so of us on this bus were absolutely vulnerable. Many times I would look out my window and not see the road...just a sheer drop-off of several thousand feet only inches from the wheel. I would instinctively lean away from the window attempting to shift some of my 180 pounds to the safe side of the bus. But several times my efforts were countered by the younger guys on the bus who all rushed to my side to lean out the window for a better view of what was sure to be impending death.

I now know, in a very real way, how it feels to be absolutely vulnerable and dependent upon the ability of someone else to keep me safe. I should mention that we made this drive twice. And the second time we made the drive - about 5 days later - most of the mountainous travel was made at night. There are no street lights or illuminated highway lines on the Yungas Highway of Bolivia which is listed as the most dangerous road in the world. Do a Google search of the keywords "world's most dangerous road" and you'll get to see many other pictures and a few news stories about the 100 or so people who die every year when their vehicles tumble off the edge.

This whole factual account is also a metaphor for life. Honestly, I feel pretty vulnerable a lot of the time. Many days I wake up feeling like, "As of right now my skills mean precisely [jack]". North Korea launched 7 missiles yesterday to provoke a response from the United States, to which they have threatened an "annihilating nuclear attack" if we do anything. Major conflict is erupting in Israel as I write this. Iran would love to play a role in the destruction of Israel...and even America if possible and is developing the technology to do it. China is on track to surpass America as the global economic and military superpower in the next 20 years.

I am paying my bills with a paycheck that comes from a company that finds itself in an industry that is in significant decline...probably only a couple decades away from extinction. The only thing I am passionate about doing with my life is church planting, yet I find myself in a city where I don't know anyone and I wonder how in the world to start.

I am absolutely, totally vulnerable and dependent upon someone else to keep me safe. And that is really cool! Because now that I recognize this I can more fully rest in the reality of Psalm 91:

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, 'He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."

Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday. A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you. You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked.

If you make the Most High your dwelling - even the Lord, who is my refuge - then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent. For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. You will tread upon the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

'Because he loves me,' says the Lord, 'I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call upon me and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.'"

posted by Bill @ 7:14 AM